scribblings on the table

hey guys:)

the past few days have been hectic, inspiring, packed, tiring, special. there never seems to be a break in between the stuffs we all have to do. it is quite an exciting life really, but sometimes it just makes you really stretched, and sometimes you just wanna stop to take a breather.

yesterday, i was on the way to cell group when my mind blanked out on me and i became extremely tired and confused. sometimes i would be thinking," what am i doing here?"

nothing to worry though, because after a good night's rest, my mind sort of recovered its sanity. a few prayers and all that, i was ready for Sunday, tuition day.

it ended pretty well, and i finally jogged/ran after 2 months of not doing so. gotta make it a habit:p

i finished, was pouring all over, and so i walked around, panting and panting. then i settled down on a stone table in the park.

then i saw the scribblings on the table.

it was really depressing. the guy was saying he was a loser, how he would flunk his PSLE, his father died 2 years ago and thus he had no courage to take his life. my guess is that he did not want to face his father in the afterlife. he was also saying he was caught stealing cigerattes and money in school and how he had shamed his family and his mother. he then went on to say that he was a loser and a ******* who didn't know what to do. he wrote something that cut me most:

i am suffering inside. i don't know what to do.

to end it off, he signed off John, 12, 15 July 2005. around the scribblings he drew two similar sad crying faces, each with a speech bubble "help!"

i left the park feeling burdened and helpless. not before doing pull ups.

and then i was thinking about yesterday, how tired and helpless i was. and i felt ashamed of myself, having seen the worse plight of a 12 year old kid. 12 years old guys, just 12 years old.

don't it just break your heart to see any grown person like this, let alone a poor kid who is just starting to enter puberty?

yeah, each have his own struggles. kids in Africa are starving to death, but if we on the other hand don't do what we have to do, we would really end up like the kids in Africa in time to come.

still, it just makes you find comfort in your own situation yeah? no matter how we may fail, or how we may not understand some topics, it seems so trivial in the light of that 12 year old kid.

and that's why we should treasure each other more as a class too, having a blessing of the 05S44 class, because not everyone has friends and people to fight alongside with. this John is one fine example of a lost child fighting alone.

i would like to take this chance to thank you guys too for being the greatest bunch:) pls take care too. if our hearts would break for a stranger in trouble, how much more for a friend in need?

let's learn to treasure what we have yeah? whether little or much, it will all become precious in our sight if we learn to appreciate it:)

Hi

PS: a shared burden is always lighter:)